Thoughts

"The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow"

-Bob Marley 

               There are times when you ponder back in time and wonder if things had gone in another way, how would your life have been. Well I have been really stuck there for a while in my life, there is an enormous amount of what if's which are hard for to fathom. Its like a cycle, a self perpetuating mechanism in which I can go deeper and deeper into and for totally nothing. When I come out of it, it is not going to be the better of me, more likely I am going to maybe a little worse than before. Embracing the madness is eventually going to consume me and every second that I think about it, it is altering me maybe for the good but I am very sure definitely for much worse. I have been wrong in life and I so hope I be wrong this time.

I need to get out of this painless dull gnawing thoughts eating me up gradually, slowly over time. They are like water, whatever you do, how much hard you try to stop it, it will eventually find a way. You will start enjoying your life and forget about things, and then like water the dam gets bursted. Your thoughts are invaded, ravaged by the pent up potential of small tiny little thoughts and you wait, you wait for the water to recede. For it maybe the most destructive force present but it also gives life and for that I have to bear it.

As I stand alone here thinking, time will pass but I will stand here with conviction of a belief, that to be better than whatever I thought I could be, I will have to face the worst of everything.

"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves"
- Buddha